Shame and Pride

I sleep like shit. Not surprising, really.

He woke me up from trance straight away. He didn't even gloat. He didn't need to. My pussy was sopping wet from the hypnosis, and we could both see it. So he let me leave, once I had finished blushing and scooping my underwear back off the floor. I keep replaying it, over and over.

Slut.

I glance at my phone. 02:47 AM. Great. Cool. Covering my face with my pillow, I try desperately to sleep.

We avoid talking to each other at breakfast. Amy notices and nudges my shoulder to check if I'm okay, but I just smile and nod. I am okay, really, I rationalize. On some level, he's right: I do want this. I can't deny the arousal of knowing for a fact that he can take me with a snap of his fingers. But mostly it scares me to ****. The way he looks at me like he owns me ... It's vomit-inducing.

After two hours on the beach with my skin crawling at the sight of him, I know I have to take matters into my own hands. While the others are dozing or reading books, I stand up and jerk my head at Jack for him to follow. He frowns, but after a moment of ****, he follows me. We make it halfway along the beach before he speaks.

"I really like you, Alicia," he says, his hands in the pockets of his jeans. God, he looks so out of place on this crowded beach. "I probably should have just led with that, but ... I didn't really think hypnosis would work anyway. Or that you'd be into a guy like me."

"Why not?" I ask. "I mean, no offence, I'm not into you, but why do you think I wouldn't be into you?"

Jack chuckles darkly. "I mean look at you, and then look at me. It's kinda obvious."

I raise my eyebrow and look him over. Sandy hair in slightly messy curtains, brown eyes, tanned skin up to the edge of his t-shirt. A couple of inches taller than me, when he draws himself up to his full height. A slightly weak-looking jaw, but nothing a beard wouldn't fix in a couple of years. All in all, not a heart-throb, but not unattractive, either.

"I don't think it's as obvious as you think," I say after a moment.

He scoffs. "Sure."

"Take your shirt off," I order. He looks at me like I've just demanded the nuclear codes. "What? You've seen mine. Twice. It's only fair."

He shrugs reluctantly. "Fair point." A moment later, his shirt is off. To my surprise, he is bona fide ripped underneath, with a clear-cut six pack and pecs that look like they could bench two of me. Still, he shrinks inwards on himself.

I whistle. "Damn."

He smirks darkly. "You trying to butter me up so I don't hypnotize you again?"

I shake my head. "Nope. Well, maybe. But you're actually way hotter than I expected under there. Like, damn. But anyway, my point is, you're not an unattractive guy. It's what's in here -" I poke him in the chest, "- that I don't like."

His eyes flash. "I can be nice."

"When it suits you, sure. But when you don't get what you want, you take it, regardless of how other people feel. That is the definition of being a complete asswipe." I put my hands on my hips and gesture to myself. "I'm the proof of that."

"You want this too -"

I shake my head. "No, no I don't. I literally told you last night I didn't want it, and you hypnotized me anyway. I don't care if 'on some level' it turned me on. That's my problem, for me to sort out. You don't get to decide for me. Okay?"

Jack sneers and gets ready to snap his fingers. "You know I could make you give me a blowjob right now."

I manage a nonchalant shrug despite the sliver of fear that shoots through me. "Go ahead. It will prove my point perfectly."

For a second his face darkens, and I can see him mulling it over. Then he hangs his head and turns away. "I'm a piece of shit, huh?"

"Yeah, a little bit. But so is everyone else." I smile as warmly as I can. "Work on it, and you'll be fine. And an apology wouldn't hurt."

He chuckles darkly, giving me a glare. I stare him down, though, and after a moment he looks down at his feet. "Right. Yeah, sorry. For ... everything."

"It's okay. After all, 'on some level' I liked it, right?" I punch his shoulder to show I'm joking, and to my surprise he actually laughs. "So, can we be normal around each other again?"

Jack nods, a genuine smile on his face. "Yeah. Well, probably not, actually. After all, now you know I like you. That's gonna be awkward for a bit."

"True," I smirk. Without warning, I give him a quick hug. "Good talk."

We walk back along the beach to the others in silence. When we get back, Elijah makes a show of complimenting Jack's workout routine, and Amy wolf-whistles. Even Dani seems impressed.

"Damn, why have you been depriving us of that view, Jack?" Amy asks, fanning herself and grinning. Then she turns to me and cocks her head. "And how the hell did you coax it out of him?"

I smirk. "I have my ways."

"So, does this mean you're actually coming in, then?" Dani asks him, jutting her chin at the waves.

Jack hesitates, then shakes his head. "Not if I have to take off my jeans," he says, smiling sheepishly.

Dani shrugs. "Suit yourself. You can look after the stuff, then."

She, Amy, and Elijah start preparing to go into the surf. I spare Jack a quick glance, and he gives me a quick thumbs up back. All good. I return the gesture, then follow the others, whooping as we splash into the waves. After a few bouts of splashing each other, Dani and Elijah start making out, so Amy and I start to paddle out into the deeper water.

"So, spill it!" Amy demands as we lazily swim towards a sandbar where a small group of high-schoolers is playing soccer. "What is the deal with you and Jack?"

I roll my eyes. "Ugh, you don't give up, do you? Fine. You were right, he likes me."

"Told you," she smiles smugly. "And? Did he ask you out, or anything?"

"No, I just sort of ... guessed."

"Boo. Romance is dead, huh?" We reach the sandbar and sit down in the ankle-deep surf, watching the soccer game. "Would you say yes if he did ask you out?"

I chew the inside of my cheek. "I don't know. I think very, very deep down he might be a good guy, but ..."

"But he's a bit of a dork?" Amy finishes. Her eyes are on the soccer game. Specifically on a handsome hunk playing defence. "I thought dorks were your type."

"They're not - just because I don't exclusively date Adonises, doesn't mean I'm into dorks," I laugh. "And stop perving on that guy, he's probably still in high school, judging by the other players."

"That's only a couple years younger, though. Surely I can at least watch," she grins. I swat her leg. "Ow!"

I roll my eyes. "Anyway, no, it's more he seems a bit ... insecure?"

"Yeah, makes sense," she nods. "He used to be fat in high school, apparently, got bullied pretty bad. Those fitness videos have definitely helped him, though! I mean, damn, did you see his abs?"

I laugh. "I thought you said he was a dork."

Amy grins. "Yeah. But a hot dork."

"You're so thirsty, oh my god," I groan.

"Busted." Amy smirks and looks back at the soccer game just as the hunk tackles the ball off someone a head shorter than him. Abruptly, she stands up. "I think I'm gonna go introduce myself."

I roll my eyes. "Check he's eighteen first, at least," I call after her.